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February 26, 2022

    Why do we as a culture feel uncomfortable when people bring up the topic of "Sex" or Sexual Intimacy? I think at least in my culture growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I remember having lessons as a youth about the Law of Chastity, one of God's Laws. This Law tells us to not have sex before marriage & to only have sexual relations with your spouse after marriage. I remember these lessons often being pretty awkward or super vague. We would mainly focus on the Law that we shouldn't have sex before marriage, but I remember sometimes wondering what avoiding sex till you were married meant.  How could I apply the law of Chasity to my daily life other than just waiting till marriage? Did that mean you shouldn't talk to a boy until you are old enough to marry? Was being attracted to a boy as a teenager breaking the law of chastity? Should I feel ashamed by having questions about sex or the differences between men's and women’s anatomy? Where you automatically a bad person by having thoughts about physical intimacy? You can see how some of these vague teachings could create confusion for any young people! I also remember wondering what I should be doing than to keep the law of chastity other than waiting to have sex till marriage. All I remember hearing was to avoid it but I had no idea what I should be doing to prepare someday for marriage and having a healthy sexual relationship with my future spouse. Instead of sexual intimacy being seen as a sacred act between a couple it sometimes came across as a scary and unknown that we should avoid talking and thinking about at all costs! I wonder if this has played a huge role in why we as a culture feel uncomfortable and awkward when talking about sex. We learn from adults or peers in our lives reactions or discomfort that the subject is off-limits and should never be openly discussed. Almost that we are bad or weird for having questions about it. 

    This is I think a 'very dangerous culture to have especially today when the family is so blatantly, being attached. Almost all TV shows or Movies at least make reference to sex or even go so far as to imply a sexual interaction between characters in the show. Children are going to be exposed to the world's ideas of sexual intimacy no matter how much we try to protect or shield them.  The world is too saturated with sex culture for anyone to avoid being influenced so the question is would we rather our child first learn about these things from their parents who love them or would we rather they hear about things from a less trustworthy source. 

    Joy D. Jones in her talk entitled “Essential Conversations” walked about the importance of role-playing situations or conversations children may have when iteration with their peers. This implied having a deeper conversation with the children, teaching them principles and doctrines, and then helping them practice defending their beliefs and standards. She said, “As they act it out and then talk it out, rather than being caught unprepared in a hostile peer group setting, children can be armed with ‘the shield of faith wherewith [they] shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.’” We can do this with our children as we have these important conversations with them about sexual intimacy. We can answer their questions in a normal and natural way to prepare them for how to act when they are faced with worldly opposition. She went on to add, “Wouldn’t we rather have them “sweat” in the safe learning environment of the home than bleed on the battlefields of life?” I agree with Sister Jones that it is so important to take the time to teach our children about important truths including sexual intimacy long before they encounter opposing views in the world. 

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